La Dolce Gangster

Say Hello To My Little End

2011-01-14T12:47:00.004-06:00

Thanks for reading!

The Golden Child

2010-05-23T10:35:00.003-05:00

Isabella, storytime.

For first time fathers still obsessed with popular culture comes these wholesome Golden Book-inspired drawings from Pixar story artist Josh Cooley of scenes from movies inappropriate for any child under the age of 17. Each is perfect for teaching little ones the golden rule of violent, sadistic crime cinema while simultaneously creating an everlasting and bloodied bond between father and daughter and celluloid.

Precursor

2010-05-23T09:25:00.006-05:00

Design by Nathan W. Pyle.

If a cursor falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Kindred Spirits

2010-05-22T09:47:00.001-05:00

Best opening shot ever.

The New York Times talks popcorn movies and by popcorn I mean wine, bourbon, scotch and whisky.

Last Night a DJ Saved the World

2010-04-10T09:16:00.006-05:00

Art by Steve Yun.

DJ Jesus breaks bread over breakbeats.

Console Me in My Darkest Hour

2010-04-09T12:10:00.000-05:00

Photo by Patrick Molnar.

My thumbs hurt from just looking at these.

ENERGY RATS

2010-03-26T08:39:00.002-05:00

Photo from The Green Head.

That lunar-powered self-cleaning litter box you just bought for your cat, Mr. HAL 9000-Lives, may not necessarily be as ENERGY STAR compliant as its label suggests.

David, Son of God

2010-03-18T12:18:00.001-05:00

This splendid article (written with affection and insight to spare by Wyatt Mason) previewing David Simon's upcoming Treme, a show many critics destine to be television's next great thing, seriously calls into question my long-running allegiance to the Sopranos as being the single greatest period of contemporary popular culture since people started calling popular culture popular culture. The Wire just might be better.

Plastic Little

2010-03-12T10:56:00.002-06:00

Photo from the New York Times.

The licensing of Barbie to Mad Men is pure nirvana for popular culture junkies, but surely poison for the character of Roger Sterling as he will no longer be able to call women 'doll faces' on the show without breaking the all important fourth wall.

Haim on You

2010-03-10T10:16:00.004-06:00

Corey Haim as Les Anderson, photo licensed from here.

The 80s have officially ended, Corey Haim is dead.

His was a life not unlike those of other teen heartthrobs who reached prominence before maturity. Building a fanbase through formulaic angst bothered comedies, insipid stories of young people falling in love, and of course good looks, they inspired a nation of pubescent boppers to litter our bedroom walls with images from the magazines that idolized them, collectively forming a mosaic of worship hollower than a chocolate Easter Bunny. When we graduated into the 90s, we left behind an epic wasteland of mousse, faded blue jeans and the teen idols that wore them so well.

What allowed Corey Haim to stand out form his contemporaries was his ability to perfect a dopey kind of cool that usually saved the day and got the girl. While others played rough, Corey cuddled. Maybe that's why his death feels so tragic and somewhat shocking despite his much publicized addictions.

Regardless of his own admission of repeated shortcomings and an inability to overcome them, Corey's fans will remember his legacy through a body of work that helped define a large segment of popular culture for so many kids during a decade rife with excess and flash and Michael Jackson.

Corey Haim stood out by endearing us with his slack-jawed, golly smile - always half aroused, always leading to a dimple of unfounded naivety and boyish shenanigans. See it for all its worth in Lucas, the Lost Boys, Watchers, Dream a Little Dream and working overtime in License to Drive.

Wall Marty

2010-03-04T09:21:00.004-06:00

Image copied and pasted from here.

Film historian supreme Martin Scorsese selects 10 Essential Movie Posters, half of which only Martin Scorsese knows about.

Wings of the Liar

2010-01-29T06:58:00.002-06:00

Screen capture by DVD Beaver.

I promise.

GoodBellas

2010-01-01T18:33:00.014-06:00

Photo by me. Baby by wife.

Dear Devoted Readers and Random Passerby,

Good, share worthy news: A beautiful, screaming baby girl was pushed full throttle into my world on December 25, 2009 at 9:52 a.m.

Isabella Suki Dub weighed 7 lbs 13 oz, stretched an all mighty 19 inches, and bore skin as blue as Na'vi. Because of she, La Dolce Gangster will be on a hiatus, most likely through February, or some point thereafter.

Until then, do visit the sites linked to in the right column of this page. All are worthy of your bookmark.

Thanks for reading and cheers!

Sincerely,
GDub

Zero Effect

2009-12-31T20:00:00.005-06:00

The 2000s. The decade of the douchebag. Winner.

To the last ten years of public figures who transgress, in the open for all to see, especially Tiger Woods, columnist Frank Rich's Person of the Year and my favorite for Douchebag of the Decade, we say Happy 2010! May the next decade of dreadful, shocking falls from celebrity grace be as prosperous to gossip spreaders and the entertainment-starving public as the previous so gloriously was.

25th Dour

2009-12-31T19:21:00.004-06:00

Our list of the ten best films of the decade concludes with one of the best films from any decade, 25th Hour, director Spike Lee and writer David Benioff's virtuoso New York City lament on the plight of a man who walks his dog into oblivion under the twin shadows of regret and what could have been.

Dare Will Be Blood

2009-12-31T19:06:00.003-06:00

Our list of the ten best films of the decade continues with a cinematic landmark, regardless of decade, There Will Be Blood, writer director Paul Thomas Anderson's daring masterwork about God, oil and milkshakes colliding head-on at the turn of an American century.

Calf Nelson

2009-12-30T08:00:00.001-06:00

Our list of the ten best films of the decade continues with Half Nelson, a story about I don't know, I don't know.

Sin the Food for Love

2009-12-29T08:00:00.001-06:00

Our list of the ten best films of the decade continues with director Wong Kar Wai's In the Mood for Love, a film so breathtaking and poetic and perfect, it can do no wong, I mean, wrong.

No Country for Cold Men

2009-12-28T08:00:00.001-06:00

Our list of the ten best films of the decade continues with No Country for Old Men, the Coen Brothers' pitch perfect adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's literary examination of cold blood American violence.

Crouching Tiger, Forbidden Dragon

2009-12-27T08:00:00.001-06:00

Our list of the ten best films of the decade continues with Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, which, as its title would suggest, tells a story about two masculine ranch hands for hire who fall in forbidden love on a mountain, in the clouds.

Done Baby Done

2009-12-26T08:00:00.002-06:00

Like finding a missing child, our list of the ten best films of the decade happily discovers a twelfth in Gone Baby Gone, a movie about finding missing children and keeping them as far away from Ed Harris as possible.

Garden Late

2009-12-25T08:00:00.004-06:00

Our list of the ten best films of the decade continues with an eleventh, Garden State, an irresistibly cute coming to grips tale about quirky, pretentious, aloof middle aged twenty-year olds coping with the non-negotiable life demands of the Shins.

Bill Kill

2009-12-24T08:00:00.002-06:00

Our list of the ten best films of the decade continues with Kill Bill, a movie whose title, along with Inglourious Basterds, implies a sordid true story of the American health care debate, instead of what they actually are: fabulously cinematic, popular culture-obsessed revenge epics that only Quentin Tarantino can deliver.

The Defarted

2009-12-23T08:00:00.005-06:00

We continue our list of the ten best films of the decade with The Departed, a weirdo thrashing mainstream gangster thriller crammed with bullets exiting through heads like a wet, blood drenched gaseous bowel movement, that somehow grossed north of $100 million in box office and earned Martin Scorsese a long overdue Oscar for Best Picture and Director.

Yo Yo

2009-12-22T08:00:00.001-06:00

We continue our list of the ten best films of the decade with Yi Yi, a heartfelt, lovingly authentic portrait about the up, down trials of one family as realized by those who do family best, the Asians.

The Lord of the Ings

2009-12-21T08:00:00.009-06:00

Our list of the ten best films of the decade continues with The Lord of the Rings, a grand, monumental big screen spectacle that has amassed more public acclaim through words ending with the suffix -ing, words like amazing, spellbinding, mindblowing, bestevering, than any film before it.

Miami Nice

2009-12-20T09:30:00.005-06:00

Our list of the ten best films of the decade begins with Miami Vice, the finest looking, well-dressed, fully-automatic, macho-male fantasy cum police procedural crime drama since the last time Michael Mann directed this kind of movie, which is every time.

Monkey See, Monkey DUI

2009-12-18T10:07:00.030-06:00

Here's to happiness. Here's to thieving alcoholic monkeys.

Bear It

2009-12-16T14:13:00.003-06:00

Must ribbon, ribbon, ribbon, ribbon. This one is 'cause he ain't livin'. Ownin' a monkey don't seem so right. It doesn't matter he's lost his life. Just ribbon, ribbon, ribbon, ribbon. Ribbon, ribbon.

Alphabrand

2009-12-16T13:00:00.000-06:00

Design by Jason Dean.

Branding A to Z.

Music to My Rears

2009-12-16T08:32:00.000-06:00

Photo from Technabob.

Soon, compact discs will only be used for sitting on, because Apple just bought this.

A Shoe Hope

2009-12-10T12:09:00.001-06:00

Photo from /Film.

As this footwear and apparel collection suggests, adidas should have made the new Star Wars movies instead of George Lucas. Or better yet, no one should have.

Whites Only

2009-12-08T13:03:00.003-06:00

Photo from The Good Will Out.

I'm dreaming of a white shoe Christmas. Just like the ones I used to wear. Where shell toes glisten, and children listen, to hear rock the bells in the snow.

Luck Beach a Lady

2009-12-08T09:47:00.000-06:00

Nia Peeples turns 38 this week and the best surfers in the world will celebrate by riding the big one.

Han So Low

2009-12-08T09:21:00.001-06:00

Then and now.

For some, a career in Hollywood can cause the same kind of relentless facial degradation as a methamphetamine addiction. For others, crazy sex photos.

Chibacca

2009-12-05T09:29:00.003-06:00

Childhood dreams by Joe Wright.

Adorable chibi alphabet chart featuring Star Wars characters that my wife says will definitely not be the wallpaper used in our baby's nursery.

The Hills Have Guns

2009-12-04T15:00:00.000-06:00

You forget how tore up Gun Hill Road is. This joint is a reminder.

Snake, Rattle and Joe

2009-12-04T14:08:00.003-06:00

Art by David Williams.

In the war against the Taliban, the United States Marine Corps is going as Cobra.

Sticking It to the Man

2009-12-03T09:29:00.001-06:00

From the creators of the Story of Stuff, comes the next animated chapter in the oversimplification of really difficult to understand complex issues with severe environmental consequences whose proposed solutions will continue the wealth and power for people who are already wealthy and powerful starring stick figures, the Story of Cap and Trade.

Under Artest

2009-12-02T13:24:00.002-06:00

Photo by Getty Images.

The shockingly immersive official website for Ron Artest is so heavy in rich media, it feels as if it should be promoting the next Hollywood blockbuster instead of a Hennessy halftime drinking professional basketball player. But it is.

Do Buy

2009-12-01T14:12:00.002-06:00

Photo from The Islamic Workplace.

Dubai. Home to the tallest empty buildings in the world and $80 billion of debt.

New Jack Twitty

2009-12-01T10:22:00.005-06:00

New York City gangs are playing the tweet life, because Facebook's a place they don't go. Tweet life, it`s the only life they know. Tweet life, and there`s one hundred forty parts to play. Tweet life, until you tweet your life away.

Guest Who's Coming to Dinner

2009-11-25T14:12:00.004-06:00

Photo from DISGRASIAN.

On Tuesday, guests of honor Prime Minister Manmohan Singh of India and his wife experienced how most American families celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday as President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle hosted their first state dinner, a simulated Thanksgiving dinner where Secretary of State Hillary Clinton played the aunt that never gets invited over except during the holidays and funerals because she is crazy, and Vice President Joe Biden, her husband, the uncle that drinks too much then starts saying really messed up things.

Former President George W. Bush, also in attendance and perhaps somewhat unclear as to the significance of the occasion, world geography and American history, nonetheless applauded his successor.

"Although it's not officially until Thursday, I think it's wonderful the president invited Prime Minister Singh to the White House for Thanksgiving, a holiday that has devastated Indians for many a generation. Let the healing begin and the final hatchet lay buried."

You Say Camorra, I Say Camaro

2009-11-24T14:19:00.001-06:00

Photo by Ted Domohowski.

I think this big black beautiful thing inspired by the release of BlakRoc, the hip hop blues rock adventure album from the Black Keys featuring Mos Def, Q-Tip, Raekwon, RZA, Pharoahe Monch, among other super delicious MCs, is for real and can be yours.

If not, then jerks.

You Say Camaro, I Say Camorra

2009-11-24T13:50:00.001-06:00

Photo from the Criterion Collection.

If the film adaptation of Gomorrah is at all faithful to Roberto Saviano's exhaustive, insightful, frustrating literary expose of the Camorra, Italy's largest organized crime syndicate, then each and every scene will conclude with the killing of men, preceded by the killing of men, beginning with the killing of men.

Ballot Box

2009-11-24T08:14:00.005-06:00

President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo has declared a state of emergency in the southern region of the Philippines where 46 bodies, believed knocked out by Manny Pacquiao, have been discovered since Tuesday.

Bad News Bears

2009-11-23T12:47:00.005-06:00

When Europeans fly, polar bears die.

No one Ever Really Dies

2009-11-22T16:21:00.008-06:00

Karl came into my life as a stepfather, and he left it as a father.

When the chaplain asked if anyone would like to share something about Karl, that was my first response, followed by a monologue that, though brief, rambled tearfully through more than 20 years of a very difficult relationship.

Ours was not unlike those between other stepfathers and stepsons. We fought. We resisted. We tolerated a bond neither one of us much wanted.

We remained in a consistent dispute, at times brutally at odds, for the better part of 20 years.

Still, in spite of the pain, the handful of times where we happily co-existed, those are the moments that will define who Karl was to me. I shared those memories with my mom, sister and brother, and everyone else there who at some point had witnessed our rivalry. I felt as if they needed to hear it. But mostly, I just needed to say it.

Like most trips one makes down memory lane, especially during a funeral, mine was completely heartfelt, severely unstructured and entirely robbing from the precision of my initial statement about Karl. However, forming a narrative from one memory to next, as out of order as it was, was precisely the best way to honor him.

I spoke of the times Karl took me to the movies. Even as a child, I obsessed myself with cinema. Karl knew that, and despite my age, indulged my affinity for R-rated action where the hero often blurs the line between vigilante and comedian. Though, as I was quick to remark, Karl had an incredible knack for finding the moral code that motivated these men. And he made certain I saw it too.

So as tribute, whether you knew him or not, consider the above film as a reminder of Karl's worth.

In the Searchers, John Wayne hunts a tribe of Comanche responsible for the death of his only family, save for the niece whom they now hold as their own, and the part-Cherokee nephew, along riding shotgun, Wayne refuses to acknowledge as his kin.

Normally, you wouldn’t choose the final scene as an excerpt because not everyone has necessarily seen the entire film. But for those of us who knew Karl, I’m not spoiling anything.

Vamp Wires

2009-11-19T13:27:00.003-06:00

Wasting energy sucks.

The Notorious D.I.P.

2009-11-18T11:33:00.008-06:00

Photo taken from the Mep Report.

Just remember tonight during happy hour when you are attempting to impress colleagues that are in most cases 20-30 years older than you, with your witty, insightful commentary on world events, to make sure they appreciate popular culture references of the last 20 years, because if they don't, when you bring up what President Obama said today, they will likely embarrass the hell out of you by pointing out when the president cautions of a double-dip recession, he is in fact referring to a legitimate economic state, one that most recently occurred in the United States during the early 1980s, and not to something that happened on Seinfeld, you stupid idiot.

John Doe, 99

2009-11-18T09:13:00.005-06:00

John Doe, 99, died November 16, 2009, at his home of natural causes.

Mr. Doe is survived by his daughters, Cathy Johnson, Peggy Elliott and Susan Turner; sons, James Doe and Jason Doe; son-in-law, Gregory Johnson, Mike Elliott, Bill Turner; daughters-in-law, Darlene Doe, and Mary Doe; and 8 grandchildren and three great-grandchildren, all of whom will have their homes burglarized while attending Mr. Doe's 2 p.m. service at First Baptist Church, 300 W. Main St., Waunakee, WI.

In lieu of flowers or donations, the family is asking well-wishers to patrol the areas around their respective homes and to alert law enforcement officials of any suspicious activities.

Wire, Wire Pants on Fire

2009-11-18T07:53:00.002-06:00

Here, someone brilliant has somehow assembled a more than serviceable 10 minute clip of 100 pieces of dialogue from the Wire, which featured the sharpest, most authentic writing in the history of episodic television and is credited with the invention of swear words.

Sesame Mucho

2009-11-17T09:39:00.003-06:00

In celebration of its 40th anniversary, Sesame Street exposes 40 of its most shocking secrets, including how Cookie Monster is able to eat significantly more cookies than all the other residents on Sesame Street combined.

The Tet Offensive

2009-11-10T21:51:00.003-06:00

Here. Nine minutes of pretty great courtesy of Four Tet. Or if nine minutes is too long for you, Norah Jones will be over in less than three.

Magnus Opus

2009-11-05T08:41:00.002-06:00

An angel chef plating food in the kitchen of God. Photo from Restaurant Magnus.

After a dining last week at Restaurant Magnus, a well-regarded eatery in downtown Madison, Wisconsin specializing in Scandinavian cuisine, I became their fan on Facebook. Soon after, I received the following message.

Good Afternoon Charles,

Thank you for joining the Restaurant Magnus fan club. Happy Tuesday to you!

I'm really hoping make the page a good place for you to find out both timely information about upcoming shows and food specials, as well as be a place where you and fans can post questions and offer feedback on what we do at Magnus.

I'd love to hear what you think about anything Magnus related; our live music shows, our new menus, things you liked or didn't like, our staff, decor, our website, our facebook pages or postings, or your latest experience with us.

I also will respond personally to all feedback received.

Thanks again. I hope to see you in at Magnus soon.

Kind regards,

Prentice H. Berge
Restaurant Magnus
608-258-8787

Lovely. To go along with the best food in Madison, Restaurant Magnus also has the best customer service. So I replied.

Hello Prentice and the amazing nutrition from God known as Restaurant Magnus,

Thank you for the lovely fan club reply. Thanks more for the epic meal my wife and I had a Friday ago at your fine, fine establishment where people gather to eat and leave having their lives changed. Our experience went something like this:

Fork. Food. Bite. Oh my God, this is so good. Fork. Food. Bite. MMMMM. Fork. Food. Bite. Your's can't possibly be as good as mine. Fork. Food. Bite. Oh my God, yes it is. Repeat. Until our plates were cleaner than they were prior to your angel chef placing his God cuisine on them.

I believe my wife had the lamb chops, and I, the wild boar tenderloin. Or maybe it was the other way around. One can't be sure when one is experiencing euphoria. What I am certain of is that each bite we took seemed to be filled with an indeterminate amount of flavors, all fighting for our attention, and all oh so good.

Until next time.

Best,
GDub

Casketball

2009-11-03T14:58:00.002-06:00

Basketball star Manu Ginobili, typically known for his frenetic style of offense, here shows off his less acknowledged defensive prowess by killing a bat.

The Wright Stuff

2009-11-03T14:36:00.003-06:00

Photo by Pablo Martinez Monsivais for the Associated Press.

President Barack Obama's scheduled visit tomorrow to Wright Middle School, a charter school in Madison, Wisconsin that emphasizes community service and has a student body that is 85% low-income and only 13% white, may not necessarily inspire the same kind of baseless hysteria from its parents as the outcry that occurred in September when the president spoke to students nationwide about the necessity of lifelong learning, as many of those students have crazy people for parents.

The Vine Line Between Fact and Fiction

2009-10-29T09:04:00.000-05:00

Photo from Baldini Vineyards.

Geology is calling out the wine industry for its exaggerated product claims of high mineral concentration as scientific malarkey. The wine industry is responding, telling geology to relax, you're too tense, here, have a glass of wine.

True Grid

2009-10-29T08:22:00.001-05:00

In Florida, President Obama touts smart grid technology while wondering why the heck three men dressed as cowboys sit attentively in the front row. In Florida.

Pop Gun

2009-10-28T07:58:00.002-05:00

Bucho prepares to kill someone with a gun.

The Internet Movie Firearms Database is a comprehensive, blazing symposium dedicated to the discussion of films and the weapons discharged in them. Take for example this highly insightful analysis of the guns used in the killing of men by Bucho and others from the Robert Rodriguez epic blaster, Desperado.

The Gift of Flab

2009-10-26T15:13:00.004-05:00

When Larry Charles is credited as Director, Curb Your Enthusiasm fans know to expect an episode chock-full of heightened lunacy and provocation, bigger and badder than what the show typically dabbles in on a regular basis. Previous moments of Larry Charles unease, like the episode where star, creator, writer, Larry David likens the abnormal size of an eight year-old's penis to that of a circus freak show, surprisingly does little in preparing viewers for last night's wildly deranged activities.

Entitled "The Bare Midriff", the episode's 30 minutes are filled with extravagant situational comedy that includes a blast of urination that signals a mistaken case of divine intervention, an altercation between Larry David and series sad sap Richard Lewis that triggers a jarring blood-spattered flashback, hilarious social musing delivered with the kind of sardonic, devilish precision that made Larry and guest star Jerry Seinfeld so freaking rich, including a hilarious exchange about Larry's need for bulk supplies of napkins with any meal that involves him eating a sandwich, and ends with Larry grabbing hold of the very sight-gag that set the episode in stooge-like motion.

That is to say, last night's conclusion had me laughing louder and longer than I had in some time, which thankfully makes up for the lackadaisical and misguided decision to watch the funny-as-genocide Kevin James would-be laugher Paul Blart: Mall Cop the previous evening. The only arrest that film makes is dispelling with the notion that fat is always funny.

Up Where We Don't Belong

2009-10-23T10:36:00.001-05:00

Photo from flightaware.com.

Two pilots got super pissed off about airline policy, talked about it, lost situational awareness that they were commandeering a commercial jetliner with 140 some odd passengers aboard, realized they had missed Minneapolis by 150 miles, then circled back and landed the plane safely. That's what happened.

Bone, Thugs and Harmony

2009-10-23T08:08:00.004-05:00

Ryan Gosling used to sing songs of love and devotion from the perspective of a prepubescent mouse child during his days as a Disney heartthrob. Then he became the leading actor of his generation when he gave one of the most pure performances in recent film history as Dan Dunne in the great, great Half Nelson. Now he makes rousing, spiritual, depressing, spooky, hipster blues music with friend and fellow actor Zach Shields as Dead Man's Bones.

The band's debut, featuring a bunch of kids dressed in Halloween costumes singing backup, all of whom look like the goth-alt equivalent of their leader's previous incarnation as a mouseketeer, is a ghoulish concept album about scary supernatural stuff that somehow is awesome and totally does not suck.

Landmass of the Lost

2009-10-20T12:51:00.004-05:00

Not a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Above, a physical composite of what it would look like if South America were placed on top of Africa. Here, more silliness.

Bad Men

2009-10-20T10:27:00.148-05:00

Breaking Bad begins with the greatest pilot episode ever in the history of American television, then strings brilliant hour after brilliant hour, eventually building the most satisfying episodic series since the Wire. Never has a show known itself so intimately so immediately than Breaking Bad. Creator Vince Gilligan and star Bryan Cranston involve audiences, like we have rarely been before, into a diseased riddled contemporary America as shouldered through the calm, authoritative, hilarious, heart-breaking chaos of Walter White, an unassuming family man whose evolution from high school chemistry teacher to cancer patient to crystal meth kingpin is nothing if not the most brilliant bit of character exploration since Tony Soprano.

LEGO My EGGO

2009-10-20T07:59:00.000-05:00

LEGO Kitchen by Simon Pillard and Philippe Rosetti .

LEGO kitchen inspires the cooking, eating and building of food.

You Tweeting @Me?

2009-10-16T12:21:00.002-05:00

Some day a real rain will come and wash all the scum off the tweets.

La Roux Gangster

2009-10-16T09:22:00.003-05:00

The lack of anything over the last week can be attributed to my wife's best friend visiting us from London.

During her stay, we managed to make three trips to Chicago, dine at the only trendy, big-city-aspiration-having restaurant in Madison, hang out with my best friend in town from Los Angeles, play lots of dice, go girl shopping, drink beer, drink wine, drink whisky, drink pălincă, drink coffee, speak Romanian, not understand Romanian, throw a baby shower, and break my cat's heart. Poor little guy is devastated by the absence of the only human being besides me that he instantly took to. He now wanders the apartment aimlessly as if he survived a car crash, but wishes he hadn't.

Fortunately, Mara left Little Jerry a keepsake, the La Roux album, which is irresistible, hypnotic and very pleasing to cats.

The Sound of Silence

2009-10-14T08:21:00.005-05:00

Photo from WLW Radio & Television.

Hybrid vehicles don't make enough noise, so now Hollywood is getting involved.

I Wish I Was a Little Bit Antonio Banderas

2009-10-06T09:53:00.002-05:00

Absolutely nothing this week will approach the magnificence of this spectacular commercial I found for Antonio Banderas Blue Seduction. Upon viewing it, you will almost instantly agree that it is the single greatest piece of advertising in the history of getting people to buy things, starring the most important person ever after Jesus, Antonio Banderas.

Because of what I just said, I must now change my mind. This glorious affair is actually some kind of awesome art from the heavens that only God Himself can pontificate. For all others, doing so would be like licking the shoe bottoms of a blind man who's been wandering through a dog park for the last hour or so. In other words, why would you do it.

However, if there is anything to fault, it must surely be its abbreviated length. Lasting only 30 seconds, this should be at least 10 hours long, which of course is the minimal amount of time Antonio Banderas requires to make love to a woman. Actually, 15 hours is a safer bet. Though I suspect, at its current length, it's beauty is barely comprehensible for most, anything longer would most likely make people's minds explode. Never mind, it is perfect.

So, instead of coming here for the usual crap, come here, as often as you need to over the next few days, for this amazing thing.

Luck Be a Lady Gaga

2009-10-02T11:57:00.003-05:00

The cancellation of Fame Kills, her co-headlining tour with Kanye West, isn't stopping Lady Gaga from offering wonderful costume ideas for anyone who wants to dress like a crazy person for Halloween.

WOD

2009-10-02T10:58:00.005-05:00

Merriam-Webster defines neologism as a meaningless word coined by a psychotic and as an example points out the English language is heavy with neologisms thanks in large part to new vocabulary from computer technology and people who blog. All of which means nothing to the Wisconsin Tourism Federation.

The Dark Night

2009-10-01T21:02:00.013-05:00

The greatest ever, Har Mar Superstar, will save the world October 13 with the release of Dark Touches, his first album in nearly five years.

Fans starving for sex infused electro pop r-n-b club music and victims of the economy, earthquakes, typhoons and war should pre-order now, because Dark Touches will end these and all other tragedies until the end of time, which it will also defeat.

Until then, the video for "Tall Boy" is sure to improve upon your pathetic quality of life with its eclectic, beautiful guest stars and general, overall amazingness.

Kill Bill

2009-09-30T09:15:00.006-05:00

Why now? I'll tell you why now. Because some atrocities are unforgivable, that's why now. I'm speaking, of course, about Roman Polanski and his now infamous crime of passion.

As statistics will prove, the most damaging kind of transgressions are those fueled by blinding personal desires. Stuff like having sex with minors or casting Adrien Brody in movies are common offenses, both of which have ultimately derailed Mr. Polanski's brilliant career, at least in America.

In 2001, the famed director of Chinatown cast Adrien Brody, an actor of incredibly limited range, as the lead in the Pianist - Mr. Polanski's most heartfelt, urgent film of his noted career. Critics and audiences alike thought the funny little Polish master filmmaker who liked to have sex with 13 year-old girls had finally lost his mind. Shockingly, and with the whole world watching his every move, Mr. Polanski bravely and diligently managed a beautifully nuanced performance from someone known more for looking weird than quality acting. In fact, the only role I and everybody else might have imagined Mr. Brody embodying with full aplomb is that of a praying mantis. Because Mr. Brody looks like one: skinny and weird looking. Mr. Polanski, however, saw beyond Mr. Brody's raptorial gaze and mantis legs, instead finding a frail humanity that would serve as the heartbeat for his Pianist. The gamble paid off, if only momentarily.

When the Oscar for Best Actor was awarded the following year, Mr. Brody's name was called. Gasps indicating disbelief or outrage filled the Kodak Theatre as Mr. Brody took to the stage, embracing presenter Halle Berry in what can only be described as 'mantis-like'. Mr. Brody then delivered an acceptance speech one would suspect a blameless, mediocre actor, who under the command of Mr. Polanski had just stolen what should have been Daniel Day-Lewis' second, and most deserving Academy Award, would give. For Mr. Day-Lewis' portrayal of Bill the Butcher in Martin Scorsese's astonishingly undervalued Gangs of New York, is most certainly one the monumental bits of acting in the history of this thing called, the movies.

Unaware of the magnitude his upset victory would cause, Mr. Brody proceeded to thank his family and friends, but saved his biggest tribute for Mr. Polanski, who, by this point, had realized the severity of his misdeed and the grave consequences that would undoubtedly soon follow. He fled the United States mere hours before the ceremony began.

What followed, as everyone knows, was Hurricane Katrina, a second term for George W. Bush, the collapse of the world economy, and Jon Gosselin - all of which are directly attributable to one Roman Polanski.

Why now? That's why now.

Lights Out

2009-09-28T11:05:00.009-05:00

People. Start buying and installing these.

Consumer misconception is at least partly to blame for the significant decline in national CFL sales. Performance issues that plagued earlier bulbs remain in the minds of many shoppers who believe believe these malfunctions still persist, despite the fact that for the most part they do not. The best way to discern a quality CFL from crap is to spot the ENERGY STAR label on its packaging, and to not buy it from IKEA. Early pressure from government and environmental advocates to saturate store shelves with inexpensive, high efficiency, eco-friendly lighting, birthed a fair amount of bastard manufacturers who sacrificed quality control on the assembly line in favor of a fast-to-market product and hopefully higher profit margins.

BEWARE.

Consult the ENERGY STAR website for common myths, what features to look for, and typical benefits from switching to compact fluorescent. Though more expensive to buy, CFLs operate at 75% less energy, last 10 times longer, and output quality light comparable to that of an incandescent. Energy efficiency campaigns, like this awesome one, offer instant, in-store rebates that make it so you can get a bulb for a buck. If you live where I live, that means for one dollar you will save $50 in electricity over the bulb's lifetime, which is great, especially if you, like me, are a cheap, shameless bastard.

Still need convincing? Then here.

G-Shirt

2009-09-25T13:57:00.004-05:00

The latest in geek retro.

Ben There, Done That

2009-09-25T08:25:00.003-05:00

Photo by Mark Seliger for Rolling Stone.

Green Inc. reports the future of electric cars inspires 'lively' panel discussion between automobile executives and 'furious' note-taking by Ben Stiller.

Zero 7

2009-09-25T07:48:00.004-05:00

20 is the new 7.

Divac Behavior

2009-09-24T10:29:00.003-05:00

Photo by Peter Read Miller for Sports Illustrated.

And God created Vlade Divac.

Who Farted?

2009-09-24T07:53:00.004-05:00

Photo by Todd Heisler for the New York Times.

Iran president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, that's who.

Quack You Up

2009-09-23T10:36:00.004-05:00

Hot Dog Legs. by Willy Bobo.

Hilarious duck art and duck tweets from Milwaukee native Willy Bobo.

He-Mona

2009-09-23T09:18:00.006-05:00

Robert Burden paints action figures on large canvases, thereby creating the greatest art ever. Here is a timelapse of how his portrait of Battle Cat came to be. It is awesome.

Win All the Time

2009-09-21T13:02:00.003-05:00

Photo from Postlerferguson.

Rock, scissors, AK47.

No-Longer-Living Room

2009-09-21T07:44:00.007-05:00

Photo by Piotr Redlinski for the New York Times.

Dexter, and other Showtime favorites, inspire these design concept living quarters.

Ming the Merciless

2009-09-18T12:37:00.007-05:00

Instead of heat conducting metal fins that look like spacecraft from Flash Gordon, HydraLux LED bulbs engage a clear liquid coolant to prevent them from overheating. This form of heat control also provides 360° of small area illumination, which is great task lighting, especially if you are the prop guy in charge of gluing fishing line on miniature spacecraft for a 1930s science fiction serial whose primary special effect is a bunch of shots of steel bucket-like spacecraft flying from the left of the screen to the right of the screen. If you are that guy, then this bulb is awesome.

Road Warriors

2009-09-17T07:50:00.002-05:00

Two men were killed by a car while attempting to reenact a scene from the Matrix Reloaded in the middle of a Wisconsin highway Wednesday night.

Yes We Kanye

2009-09-15T15:20:00.005-05:00

Run TMZ.

Kanye Best

2009-09-14T11:20:00.001-05:00

What is the difference between an angry congressman and an angry rapper? Stage presence. Last week, U.S. House of Representative Joe Wilson shouted "You lie!" at President Barack Obama during the president's health care address to Congress. Fallout proved mild however when compared to the contempt meeting Kanye West this morning following his impromptu 'hijacking' of the MTV Video Music Awards ceremony Sunday night. As spontaneous as his editorial seemed, credit Kanye for having the good sense to place not a finger on Taylor Swift. Had he, conservative outrage*, particularly from the country music community, might have invoked greater hostility than when these people debate health care.

*Two words that by their very definition do not belong together, but, more often than not, do.

Ironmad

2009-09-14T08:41:00.002-05:00

Photo by Kris Ugarriza.

Photos from Ironman Wisconsin to make you feel bad about yourself.

We All Fall Down

2009-09-11T12:16:00.003-05:00

Less a Scorsese, the Fall harvest still looks to bring a bushel of high art, big bucks and a number of ambitious projects from directors, screenwriters, actors and properties either worth paying attention to or ignoring entirely. Peter Travers helps make sense of it all.

Zero Hour

2009-09-11T08:32:00.005-05:00

In remembering September 11th, focus on the stalwart imagery of The World, as of 9/10/01 and listen to the puncturing sound of regret, hope and reality from the Terrence Blanchard score for 25th Hour, the brilliant Spike Lee meditation which has nothing or everything to do with September 11th.

Let the Wookie Win

2009-09-10T10:38:00.002-05:00

A long time ago on a chessboard far, far away....

...and Gene Crackman

2009-09-10T08:09:00.006-05:00

Netflix review is hilarious, entertaining unlike actual movie reviewed.

Good Golly Mr. Smalley

2009-09-10T07:54:00.003-05:00

Senator Al Franken is good enough and smart enough to draw the entire map of the United States.

Socialist Media Networks

2009-09-09T15:07:00.002-05:00

Suggested listening for What the F**k is Social Media, Marta Kagan's slide show on the merit of social media for business, is David Holmes' Let's Get Killed. The album and its brooding, atmospheric noir lends to the post-modernism of Kagan's spirited and convincing presentation.

Lunch Box

2009-09-09T07:51:00.002-05:00

Panda bento box by luckysundae.

From blog to popular print: the art and delicacy of the bento box.

Show and Yell

2009-09-04T10:28:00.008-05:00

Still from Fahrenheit 9/11.

Republican parents concerned for their children's educational well-being are angrily opposing a speech scheduled to be televised next Tuesday in classrooms across America and given by Columbia University and Harvard Law School Graduate, and also President of the United States, Barack Obama. Upon first glance, the opposition seems misguided. Their outrage appears to stem from a fear that the president's speech will somehow create a "cult of personality", as Rep. state Senator Steve Russell of Oklahoma put it, instead of a civics lesson, which is obviously completely ridiculous. Further historical analysis, however, tends to support their cause for concern, especially in light of there existing two giant, twin-like skyscrapers in New York City just prior to the last president speaking before a classroom full of students. When he finished, they were gone.

Mouse Trap

2009-09-04T09:00:00.000-05:00

Frequent, obsessive use of Facebook and other social media networks is not uncommon for the majority of Internet users today. Though potentially time consuming and wasteful, online communities are, for the most part, a healthy activity, allowing its participants important social interaction with friends and family otherwise impossible due to their real world proximity to one another. However, in extreme cases, such as those that involve the spending of days exploiting the 'Like' feature on Facebook, health officials believe may indicate a serious addiction, recently classified as 'Red Flag Syndrome'. The diagnosis, which takes its name from the activity notification system employed on Facebook, itself a stimulant for increased social media abuse, otherwise known as 'gateway media' among members of the popular press, is treatable. Users who suspect themselves, or others, of possessing similar behavior are being urged to contact ReSTART, a new treatment center for Internet addiction.

Green House

2009-09-04T07:45:00.001-05:00

Photo by Michael Stravato.

One man's trash... is this man's entire house.

Coming Up Rosie

2009-09-03T12:41:00.010-05:00

Obscure female celebrity worshipping rap duo Slug and Murs, with production from Aesop Rock, dedicate their next Felt record to Rosie Perez. After that, Rebecca De Mornay, Nicole Eggert, Alyssa Milano, Kari Wuhrer, Stacey Dash, Soleil Moon Frye, Jamie Gertz, Justine Bateman and Ralph Macchio.